Las Vegas PT2

i hate no scratch that i DETEST this place with an extreme prejudice. I have spent the last almost 12 years on my life in the godforsaken place some refer to an valley which i personally think is more like an oven. i sit around thinking...it might get better...but it doesn't and i officially fed up for this renounced place. I am doing everything i can to the best of my ability to do my best to get the fuck out of it. I am spending the next 8 months doing the best i possibly can to move out of this valley, this , this bowl of broken dreams, promises and lost hope. I have known for the last year that what i want to do is not here, its not anywhere near here. its not even close to here. i have to find a way out, i want no i NEED to leave. to have to seek a way out of this death hole before i a suck ed in and i am here forever wishing, thinking, and kicking myself in the ass for not leaving this dismal place when i had the chance

Las Vegas

it contains 131.3 sq mi of "city"
it contains .1sq mi of water (lake mead is out of city limits)
[so if you really think about...ITS A BARREN WASTE LAND]

it has a population of 558k+ citizens
of which an estimated 100k+ plus are from Hawaii
[ the hawaiians kinda dont make sense to me....yea vegas is cheaper...BUT WHY WOULD YOU GO FROM TROPICAL TO DESERT]

in the winter are lows are around 25-35
in the summer are highs are around 115-120
[its not cold enough to snow. which some people like but in the summer its hot enough burn yourself on anything outside]

on a good year we average about 3 inches of rain....but some areas flood and get upto 2 feet of rain...which sometimes sits there for hours because we have a horrible flood drainage systems.
[when you live in a desert and it rains anyone who's lived there their whole life thinks driving faster helps...FUCKING WRONG DOUCHE]

our economy is mainly funded by tourism...
[which means we're currently failing as the economy fails. if you dont have money you're not gonna throw the bit of saving you have left into a slot machine or some strippers g-string.]

development in las vegas use to be "here whats out there...ohh thats right more nothing put a house on it." now its "here we got hella sky...put a condo up there"
[so you mean it took you about 40 years to think here....the water's only over here lets just build up around it]

entertainment in vegas is directed at its core audience of 21+
[any one under this age HAS SHIT TO DO....and you wonder why teen violence has gone up]

I have a problem

in the last year due to an increased amount of free time i have increased the amount of time i spend infront of the virtual world has steadly increased. i sometimes wonder if its an addication but i feel like if had something better to do..i'd probly do that over spend hours on the internet...people always ask me if i have world of warcraft, or play second life....but i dont and i wont...i played both of them once and 6 hours disappeared...i was the scariest thing ever to look down and see that i had been sitting there for 6 hours...in a fake world and not known...

Relief

I have finally after months of searching found employment. Birdo also found one herself also months of searching. So after months and months of being stuck between a rock and hard place i have finally been give a tool of which i can use for leverage to get free with...and boy is it nice...

beyond chill

my pops is beyond chill....nothing i do surprises or shocks him...lol
I can home with my lip pierced he was whatever about it
i start wearing skinny jeans he doesn't care

mom on the other hand flipped out in both scenarios

i remember when i changed my major form IT and dropped out of DeVry he just like whatever gets you along in life...moms still trying to get me IT jobs to this day

Motivation

In life ther are things we do that are motived by anything person, cause, or inner reason. Something motives everything to do something. My motivation an item. But its not any item. its an item so rare only 500 are made a year, each hand crafted. Each built to order. Each built in a factory of the items home country. My item is an Lamborghini LP 560-4 or better known at the Gallardo. This to me is no normal car. its more then that. this car is a living breathing being in my eyes. Today i was outside the dealership looking threw the windows for almost 10 mins just starting at the marvelous creature wanting, waiting, lusting for the day when i can attain one. I walked around the outside of the dealership and sat a table outside the cafe and watching the commercial for the LP 560 3 or 4 times for 15-20 minutes. My passion for this car is beyond words. I have craved and drooled over this car since i was 15. I have always had a passion for Lamborghinis even as a child.

One day I will have my Lamborghini

Love

ever since i could remember i'll always been fasinated. Always wanted to get closer and get more. for years i watched and smiled from a distance sharing a laugh here and there. but soon i would be able to get closer and i would be the one causing the smiles, and the laughs. soon i would be the one going out at night and enjoying great times. But even as close as things have gotten over the years i still wanted to get closer and takes things to the next level. and finally i had my chance the we became more interactive. the amount of fun we had increased to a level i never knew we could have. but in the back of my head i knew we could have even more. all these years i still haven't outgrown my love of cars....hahaha

uninspired

today has just been a very uneventful, uninspiring, ungodly day.

i just haven't felt like doing anything what so ever

The Cake

Kid Yosh- Its gotten to a point where i can't tell if not having a job is making me depressed or how much time i spend looking for a job is making me depressed

Charmader- oh, same here.
i'm so fucking desperate for a job.
it just depresses me in general.
ugh.

K.Y-of all the things i've seen so far in the last 6 months the only thing i'm suprised i haven't seen is a paper or article talking about an increase in suicides or depression

C-i'm sure it's coming.
i'm just looking forward to the changes that are going to be coming now that Obama is the president elect.

K.Y- yea
thats the light at the nd of the tunnel for alot of us

C-definitely.

K.Y- i feel like during the months before the election i was just in a dark room and a light would flicker here and there in the far distance. but once he become the president elect the light has stayed on and has slowly gotten closer

C- that's how I felt.
it just feels like a fresh start.

Tru Life

I use to watch this show and wonder how able bodied adults were unable to find jobs. And it makes sense now. I use to watch these shows and thing to myself, how did you fuck your life up to where you're basically homeless and unable to afford to basics of life.

I no longer wonder this question. I logged into myspace to and i saw a bulletin that was along the lines of being able to find a job until he can go to school. I hug out with Island Girl yesterday and we both spoke of how people don't understands whats really going on until they have been forced to join us in the pool of unemployed youth. We have come to a point where we unwilling have become the stereotypical unemployed child still living with their parents to the outside eye. But anyone who knows the position we're in knows its nothing of the sort. Many of us would give just about anything to be able to provide for ourselves but at the current moment it is unattainable. If MTv wanted to do a new episode of Tru Life "I'm Broke/Jobless/Seeking Employment/etc." I could give them about 15 people...

First Friday

Micro Mini, originally uploaded by Shay Hogan.

First Friday is an event held in many cities that is a gathering of artist. Today I went I was joined my Las Chicas(Joanna and Frida) and we had quite a good time, we later went to In-N-Out where i watching them stuff their faces since i had already eaten Wendys. We later took Joannas car to desert Vdub and then we went home. Well they did I stopped at Sonic and took that picture of Zabi...my car gotta love Depth of Field

Where Did My Cheese Go

I awoke 10 months ago and said "Where did my cheese go?"
The cheese that i was entitled to had be taken from me and I didn't know where it went or why it left but it was gone. I like any other animal trapped in a maze on the hunt for food ventured back into hunting for more cheese. Which I found and once figured out how to make this cheese last the mice that where in charge of said cheese took it from me.

I have for the last 8 months been running around a maze hitting my head on walls on the hunt for this elusive cheese. I feel as if I have been over every bit of the maze. Running thru every passage, around every turn, stuck in every corner. In the last few weeks I asked the question, why can't i find any cheese, is it simply because I not looking in the right places at the right time. Or is it the maze itself. I have in the last few weeks became to consider maybe it is time for me to switch to another maze

The American Zeitgeist

After 8 years of failure from our government many of us believe that there is nothing that can be done to fix the problems that exist in our political system.

After 8 years of constant debt we feel as if this hole we have gotten ourselves into has become inescapable for the sheer amount owed seems impossible to overcome.

After 8 years of fearing for our own well being is companies and factories have slowly closed and left the country we felt as if our government cared not about us.

But now there is a light of hope as the end of this dark tunnel that could lead to better times. Fear not these oncoming changes my brother, for they could be the answers to dreams, our hopes, our prayers. We stand here on the era of America's revolution. I am ready for it. I am ready to see this debt begin to dwindle and hopefully soon become a surplus. I am ready to see jobs and factories come back to this once great nation. I am ready to see what out government can do to help us make past this hard times. I am ready to see a new American Zeitgeist one that in a future we can look back on and be proud of. One that I tell my children I was apart of and hold my head high when I say. One that wont fail me like the one of the last 8 years have.

Judgement Day

Came early and the winner by a fucking landslide is Senator Barak Obama. As i type this the points are
333-146.
I shall insert a photo of the results once all the votes are in so we can forever see how badly McCain got his old ass whooped by

Terror Chapter 1

Terror

My name is Frankie.I use was born in Kansas and lived there till I was 18. So I was use to having little contact with technology until I moved to New York. A year after I moved on June 5, 2018 it happened. Everything piece of tech I owned, became useless. The United States had been hit with an EMP Lets go back to the beginning.

May 3 2017

I'm sitting in the school gym while we do out graduation practice. I look around at these people and I think where the hell did these people come from and where have some of them been. At my school as a senior you only need two classes one if you took Government over summer classes, so I can somewhat understand why I've never seen them. Id only have one class but my parents don't want to help me get a car so I have a full day. It completely sucks ass. I wonder why this whole process is even needed. I'm just leaving high school, its not Ive done something major, or maybe I have and I just don't give a damn about it. I just what the hell out of this god forsaken town.

After sitting in the schools gym for two hours and getting out of classes I walk out an hour early, what are they going to do tell me I cant walk. If I walk or not I don't give a damn, shit they can kick me out for all I care. I open the front door of my ranch style house. It smells of baked goods, my moms hobby is baking. I swear if that damn stove broke mom would go insane.

"Hey Kiddo!"

"Don't call me kiddo I'm seventeen years old damn it!" I yell back at my father. Ive hated being called kiddo since I was seven. I walk down the hallway to my room. I look up at the posters Ive pinned to my ceiling, old school rock bands like System of a Down, Korn, Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails. Someday Ill leave this town and go someplace big, I think to myself. I look out the window to vast nothing. Colby, Kansas has come a long way though.

When we first moved here back in 2006 it was us and the cows. Now were got an elementary school, a middle school and Colby High. About 10 years ago they built a Super Wal-mart. Made the town more then a stop off the freeway, but besides that this town is still nothing more then a place where the cows out number the people. They milk the cows and ship the milk to the Hershey factory about 150 miles away. When the cows are no longer milk-able I've been told they sell the cows to this slaughter house in Denver. Lucky cows. I'd rather be dead them living here. I close my eyes and next thing I know my mom is calling me for dinner.

"Francesca. Francesca come eat!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT DAMN NAME!"

I enter the kitchen and my plate. Nothing but baked food, sometimes I really just want to take a bat to that damn stove. Everything we eat in this house is baked, I never thought I said this out loud but I did
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU BAKE EVERYTHING! DID NANA NOT TEACH YOU SHIT AS A LITTLE GIRL!"

Here face turns red as it feels with rage. The table goes quite as the everyone including me has already forseen the outcome of exchange I've just made with my mother. She reaches out and smacks me shitless. My little brother breaks into a laughing frenzy, until I smack him shitless too and mom hit me again this time knocking me out of my chair. My and my twelve year old brother are lying on the kitchen floor holding our mouths tearing eyed. He spits in my face and runs off; I dont see the point in chasing him if hes just going to his room to cry. I wipe my face with my sleeve and get up. I make a move for the front door I stumble and pass out. Mom hit me harder then I thought.

D-Day

We have entered the final hours of the election. Some of us have worked for years to get here. Some of us have worked the last few weeks to get here but this is where it all pays off. This is where we find out where our country goes. This is where some of decide our future with this country(I personally have looked into getting long term Visas in Canada, England, and Japan) We are entering what some of us would considered the scariest hours of our life. Many of us are sitting somewhere listening to the radio as the polls are coming in from the east coast and will be till they close in Hawaii. Counting Hawaii we have 11 hours untill everything closes down and the tally begins. Tomorrow will be Judgment Day when we find out who shall lead this country, and the Americans aren't the only ones watching. The World is also on edge awaiting the answer. Some more nervous then us. Many of them hoping that a democratic candidate wins.

Mathamathics

so i'm just sitting here kinda staring off into space at the current moment thinking over the events for the previous day, and the more and more i add these numbers together the less and less sense it makes. I've tried looking at the story from both ends and it still doesn't seem to make sense. The numbers are there, the math is done, all the work is shown, and I can even seen the result...BUT IT DOESN'T ADD UP!!!!!

i feel like there is something i'm not getting but when I ask Lil Sis and Barbie they both say the same thing....the numbers dont work. maybe i should just sit the equation down and walk away from it

I have to escape....

Like Dae-su Oh I have grown accustom to the confidents of my prison. I have accepted my fate and become ok with my incarceration. But my 15 years draw near and I shall soon be free. Free form this damnation. Free from the misery. Free from the trials and tribulations being here has brought about. Soon my day shall come and I will be liberated from it only to succumb to a trail by fire of which I await with open arms for I know once I have walked through this inferno I will never have to see this hellish place unless by my own doing.

I have to escape...

There is no you

We live in a state of constant disillusion where we are forced things and perceive them to be the factual. When popular to then contrary they are anything but. I have become less concerned with fitting into the the world for none of it matters. Because it was never real to begin with, none of has ever been real and I have finally come to see it. There is no you, there is no me, there is no us, there are only the manipulators behind the scenes pulling the strings. But I shall no longer disillusioned by your false prophet, and his words of judgments and his fear mongering. I shall no longer be fed this lies you let seep into the general population. None of it matters. It never will. But what is sad is that your plan has worked, only i have seen it. Now it the time is too late to stop it for the machine has been activated and with off switch we can only wait for it to destroy itself. With this things I should of never seen I have entered a domain I should not be in. But I remain in the state knowing I shouldn't be here, for no matter how hard I try i have become a fixture in the space, slowly fading into it. I've been here so long I can see through myself.

My Prediction

Barack Obama Wins Election

-After his first term 30-60% of the mess bush has gotten us in will be cleared up 

-After his second term 60-80% of the mess with be cleared up 

-The American dollar will be worth around what it was in early 2002

-We shall be out of Iraq and move more troops into Afghanistan to find the real reason we're in the middle east

-

John McCain wins the election

-Midway thru his first term he will die...he's too damn old

-We shall stay in Iraq

-The American Dollar will continue to fall

-Sarah Palin takes office after his death

-100's of 1000's of American leave America for Canada and Wealthier European countries 

-We become China's Bitch

-Mexico's economy becomes stronger then ours.

Once Sarah Palin takes office

-Fuck!!!! Global Panic

Obama Rally

so today i went to an Obama rally to help out in the morning nad then hear him speak in the afternoon....hearing him speak it awe inspiring. I stood there for 45 minutes listening to this make talk and make some jokes here and there as he spoke. Hearing him speak on tv or the radio has nothing on hearing him speak live and in person. Its something thats you honestly just feel inside of you and you know its right. I may not of gotten to shake his hand but being there alone was enough for me to know that the ballot i cast this afternoon was well worth it...

Untitled

i talked to her a few days ago and it always makes everything feel right again. she always tells me how proud of me she is, we talk of our next chance to see each other and then we'll tell one another how much we miss the other. We talk of how much school ties us down but how much it'll be worth it in the end once we've completed everything and we can finally start working on a career that we'll both love rather then a job we can't stand. even thought we can't see the others face we know there is a smile there as our conversation ensues. Something about talking to Joel, is just comforting 

I am Jacks Smirking Revenge.

I have the desire to write but my thoughts are to random, unorganized and clustered for me to make sense of them. but i get the general gist of what seems to swirling around in there. I have AD.H.D and i have misplaced my meds...on purpose something with severe ADHD prolly thinks im insane right now whilst someone with moderate understands why i have done so. Yet a person simply with A.D.D isn't concerned with the matter because they while unable to focus their thoughts dont have the issue of random burst of energy at random times of the day week hour month. OMG its like...its like...its like you've gone months without moving while being forced fed espresso and then all of a sudden the chair you are tired to has vanished and you now have 10 terawatts of energy flowing. its s system overload everything becomes intensified your thinking moves at the speed of light and you are unable to catch the ideas as the come in and you body refuses to sit still...writing this blog is one of the hardest things i've had to do in while my fingers are flying across the keyboard and in to the next word before i finish the one i'm writing i'm constantly backspacing and retyping

Terror Levels

Off to the right of them blog is the Homeland Security Advisory System for those of you who somehow didn't figure that out. This is something that didn't come out until around 2003. A fact that most of don't really notice is that this thing has 5 colours. Reason why we don't notice it has 5 colours. The News and Government like to keep this device around orange or red at all times. I know it hit Yellow a few times but i doubt it ever hit Blue or Green...EVER!!!  It has some words under that suggest what the colours mean. I'm going to tell you what they really mean

Severe- Today Something somewhere somehow will sometime at someplace...we think

High- Something somehow somewhere might sometime happen at someplace

Elevated- Someone said something about something so just watch out for something. 

Guarded- I heard something over there

Low- Get the fuck off my lawn...I'm sleeping.

Now when you see the terror alerts you'll know what they really mean

Genocide

Gen*o*cide |ˈjenəˌsīd|

noun

the deliberate killing of a large group of people, esp. those of a particular ethnic group or nation.

There have been many genocides throughout the world of its history. And no group is expept from them. Wether it was the Catholic Crusades, The Nazi Holocaust, or the Rwandan Genocide. These was all killings that  went unjustified and the only reason these people were killed is because they were blamed for the horrible happenings in their countries. 

If I told you I was the witness to a genocide last over 10 years would you believe me. If I told you that you yourself helped murder people in a genocide would you believe me. If I told you that this genocide was happening here in America would you believe me. Well I have, you are, and it is. 

We have slowly been killing ourselves and no one has said anything about it. No one has drawn a single eye to this as if it hasn’t been happening. How can we go around calling each other brothers and sisters yet killing one another everyday in the streets of america. These genocides have gone unreported because the people doing these crimes are not a national army, they are not a unified group, nor are they a militia. According to the government they are nothing more then a group of inner-city youths who come from low income broken and abusive homes. The groups are better known in popular culture as the bloods and the crips. But unlike the Tutsi and Hutu these two have wages war for decades without anyone trying to stop them.  

Technologic

Ok So as the rest of the Apple-Heads know, new shit came out today. And i want this setup off the the left, while something close to it. Thats the new Apple Display which FINALLY has the Isight, a mic and SPEAKERS built into it...its pretty much a iMac minus the computer components. But its made JUST FOR PORTABLES. It has a cable that comes from the back the charges your laptop, turns the monitor into a usb hub and of course can be used as a second screen....WHY...WHY CAN'T OPRAH GIVE ME MILLIONS!!!! hahaha, but anywyas this is the new toy i want its effing awesome and you know it is.

Utter Despair

I have been seeking employment in the las vegas valley since January. with no luck of any kind. yes i did work at a car dealership for 2 months but that was not a job i would of held much longer even if they hadn't let me go. The entire world seems to be in a since of utter despair. I am currently awaiting email from a previous employer to see if they will be able to sustain an employee based need to to operate their place of business in the upcoming holiday season. this seems to be my last resort at really finding anything worthwhile. I am seeking seasonal work and hopes that they shall like me enough to keep me on as part time. and as sad as it is any checks i do get already spent without me having employment due to my need to cover bills to even them out.

i have overcome my sense of brokenness and have come to the ultimate realization that i am not the cog in the system that is broken but the system itself is broken. but i continue to spin without my work producing results as the machine i work with is consuming vast amounts of substance without producing any

Sarah Palin

does anyone else find it a little scary that this lady could be our next vice president and president...lets face John McCain will not live thru his first term. this photo is not edited in way or form to my common knowledge. this is the palin family on vaction somewhere, poolside shooting rifles in american swimsuits...if there were anyone else she's be one CMT Trailer Park Queen of the Month and my April in their Trailer Trash calender.  Now to the picture on the right side. That looks like someone Grandpa McCain shows up with cause they "had a good time" oh wait HE DID!! and we wonder why her daughter is pregrant where we can find pictures of her drunk off her ass online. Speaking of her pregnant daughter am i the only one who's really looked into the whole pregnant daughter thing. no i dont see anything wrong with her daughter being preggers. but i think this might be the SECOND thing she's been knocked up. I tried to find pictures of mrs. palin when she carrying her youngest child but i couldn't..did i did find out that bristol was out of school for about 5 months before her little brother was born because she was severally ill with Pfeiffer's Disease, which is more commonly called Infectious Mononucleosis and even better known as Mono. I find it weird that she was out of school for the fives months leading up to trigs birth...but yea i'm done this subject, now for a good laugh

Might not be such a bad idea

I sit here in the town this city this whatever you call it i call it hell with slot machines...I have never really hated anything with a passion but i can say i hate vegas with a DEEP  passion. there is nothing for anyone here in this desolate place. i want to leave it behind and only visit to see friends and family. me and all of my pseudo siblings all want to leave it behind and forget it like the drunk girl you had your way with at a party.  my lil sis wants to go back to the islands to a place where she remembers happyness and left it behind only to visit it when she can. my brother is returning to a place where steel filled the hills and soot filled the skies. they're going back home...

i'm not

while home is always a great place to go back to in recent years i have changed my mind about this several times...but i have finally come to the conclusion that i shall for west. i've been to this place 5 times in my life and every time i felt an overwhelming feeling of joy and contentment. an over zealous sense of happyness. i felt as if...i belonged

McCain and Palin

So i listen to them talk and they remind me of the crazy family you have that sits down at dinner and starts talking and it all sounds good and then somewhere in middle of talking everyone at the table has starting to give them that look like..."What the fuck are you talking about?" I hear them talk and i think to myself someone has be to thinking the same thing....

better analogy

The race for the election is dinner at your family

Grandpa McCain and Aunt Sarah Palin are around of the table with Uncle Barack and your neighbor Mr. Biden

Conversation around the table starts and it's all good everyone getting along then Grandpa McCain and Aunt Sarah say something completely absurd and just wrong and EVERYONE gives them that look like WTF...you know as soon as they leave the table the conversation turns to

"They've gone crazy...what the fuck are we going to do with them"

After this election and when Mr. Obama wins Palin shall not be reelected the state of Alaska from what i see hates that Bitch....and no i'm not being sexiest by calling her a bitch...cause i think McCain is a bitch too.

Awesome

It's nice when you find out that you've made someone's day.

It's sweet when you find out that you've made two peoples day.

It's awesome when you find out that you've changed people's life for the better

In the last day i've had two people tell me i made their day just the saying something simple.

In the last day i've been told that i helped someone change their life for the better and they're so happy to have me as a friend.

this whole last day had just made me feel really good about the friends i do have. 

Addiction

I have blogged for over 4 years now. And I can say it sometimes becomes an addiction of sorts. And i assumed it was just my personality at first because i have done this before with other activities such as excising and playing video games. But I know that it not just me. In my English book we have an entire chapter based around digital life and blogs. So I saw that my behaviors were in turn normal. And I saw this even more so when one of my friends started her own blog  and within 24 hours more or less have 4 postings and close to 20 views.  She too now is addicted to a web culture that is more attractive then doing cocaine off toilets in the 80's.  I still dont understand why it so appealing 100% myself. Cause 10 years ago this was a journal that i kept and hid from the world that i didn't want anyone to read. Now i don't care who finds their way here and reads what i have to say anymore. But maybe thats just it. This whole idea is so irresistible because it feeds in the human need to socialize thru some sort of contact. Even if I never see who you are, where you live or even what gender you are, were, will be. Its the simple fact that I have some how connected with you. 

Sleepless In Las Vegas

I've currently been up close to 24 hours and still sleep has yet to ensue. But I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Many other people are still wide awake unable to sleep. I think I may need to develop some sort of night light after school to kill my energy at the end of the day. Maybe then I wont feel like the old man who lives in the middle of the cut-de-sac that yells for no apparent reason. But these sleepless night could be the by-product of a unproductive day before the hour of 1800.  

0730- Woke up Watched the news

1000-showered

1100-went to AT&T

1145- Went to Starbucks and did my homework

1530- Went home ate lunch

1630- Stopped at Kawasaki and looked at the ZR-6 Ninja...I crave a yellow one

1730 - Got to school and chilled before class

1800-The first real productive thing of my day my SMB Class

2100- Came home

that my day its can be quite...dull and trivial when I have nothing to do. But alas I did have a spot of good news in the mixture

I have two paid photo-shoots coming up soon. 

One this upcoming Sunday with with Bugsy

Second next weekend in Minnesota...I have a first paid traveling gig!!! 

Hasta Luego Mis Lectores

-Kid Yosh

Hopeless

Hope*less

 adjective

1)felling or causing despair about something

2)inadequate;incompetent 

So I'm sitting here at Starbucks working on the take home quiz which I've had since last Thursday but due to my lack of planning and time management I still haven't finished it as I type this. My mind is to far wandering away wondering where I could find a place of employment. While talking with Myra yesterday she told me I should try back at my old job and see how that goes. So I have the even the results there seem ill-fated; however there is hope for the oncoming holiday shopping season is upon us. Over the last few months I have come to learn how desolate this place I refer to as my current fixture is. While shooting my aunt's god-son I shall to doom of the Las Vegas service industry before my very eyes. The casino we walked thru had implimented two new poker tables juxtaposed at the end of the pit. These tables had 5 seats around them and a screen where the dealer would be placed. This along with Microsoft surface will make Vegas close to fully automated. Why hire staff when you can have computer programs do their jobs for a fraction of the cost. But when I saw this it dawned on me that my discharge from Vegas must be properly planned. Alas this plan now needs much revising with out current economic state.

Begin Blog

Over the next week you will see my blog explode as if it the a plane into a building as move my blog over from myspace to here....my blog on myspace  has become the archive now and shall no longer be updated henceforth 

Assimilation

it has recently come to my attention that while this city has a good to me and help provide me with nurturing environment alas it has come my time to depart from it. i need to seek something beyond this valley. i have always been the oddly shaped peg and i assumed and believed las vegas was the whole to which my peg belonged. but in recent times i have some the realization that the is not the truth. i in fact have been sitting here for years pounding away forcing the square in the circle. if this was the inverse i would fit. you can put a circle in a square and a triangle in both for those of you whom have yet to try. but that is beyond the matter.

In Pursuit of Happyness

My Name is Ron'Sa, according to the federal system I am 20 year old African American Male, with no criminal record to speak of. I am tagged as being born in just outside of Chicago with a current residence in Northern Las Vegas. These facts alone seem to make it impossible for me to find a job. I have spent the last few months looking for a way to make an income that would allow me to live comfortably. But alas this is near impossible. While on my job hunt I have come across several jobs that would allow me to do so, but after reading the fine print they all had two things in common. The need for 500 upfront to pay for my training that would bring me within a year if all goes well an income of over 200,000 a year thru residual income. I've known two people who did this and both said they within a month of doing this that they regretted doing so. It almost a if i am unhireable for so many reason they seem discriminatory. I've been told "We'd love to hire you. You have the experience and skills that we are currently looking for but" which would be finished out with on of the following
-"You're currently not old enough for the position we're filing"
-"We're seeking someone with more life experience for this position"
-"We're unable to match your salary needs at the current point in time"
-"We need someone who can commit more time to the company"
-"You're management material and we're currently not hiring in that area"

I've also been told I was over experienced for the position or that it was a position that they would prefer a female employee to fill. 

I have skills that most people would drool over if they saw on a resume but for some reason when my name is attached to it they become undesirable and tainted. 

I have come to several conclusions as to why this is so but even when I change the name boldly printed at the top of that crisp paper in my hopeful future employers hands they all become admissible.

I would have to admit that the most trivial thing about this hunt of mine is when i do find a job, and I begin the application process only to find that forty wasted minutes down the line i was not old enough. Yet in still when my age in entered in the date of birth field I am allowed to continue, yet once i see the magic question of "Are you 21 years of Age" I know my submission has become futile. 

In my search for employment and a possible career i have come to detest this city with a fervor. There is almost nothing here for me. And it has been proven at long last. But i am unable to go back to from where once i came. I must plot my next course and continue my voyage of finding the place where i would be able to assimilate with out contention. Since moving to this desolate city almost nothing good has come from it. I have been plagued with medical issues, and now this financial burden plagues me here. I have been rendered inept in my own personal Pursuit of Happyness

8 Bars

8 bars is all it takes for memories to flood back into the mind. things you forgot and hid in the back of your mind never to remember. but 8 bars brings it back to the front, full detail, vivid memories. I need no time machine to travel back in time i just need those 8 simples bars to take me back to that place from long ago.

Science

its 4 in the morning and i am unable to sleep....i've been up almost 24 hours now. i'm tired, depressed, and wide awake. i feel like i'm getting nowhere. like a hamster in a fucking wheel i try so fucking hard but i get nowhere...i hated my jobs and but miss them. i hated standing around for hours on end talking to asshole who wasted my time only for me to get bitched at casue they didn't buy shit...but i miss the people i did it with. 

i turned 20 last week....i invited over 60 people...2 showed...and i enjoyed the time they where there....but it just showed me how little i can depend on people and who even cares that i exist. i've felt so depressed and alone since then....since then the only thing i can thing of is august, to hopefully get the reassurance that someone else cares about me. i know she cares me and i she knows i know. 

life has a funny way to letting me know things are going to get easy like i plan them...i feel like as soon as i begin to get somewhere something happens to put me back where i was like..like moving out....i was gonna be out 100% last sunday....but plans changed.

the ticking tocking on my watch is the reminder that i only have so much time to do what needs to be done. like so many americans i wear i watch...but don't use it tell me what the current time is...i use it to tell me time is passing my watch currently reads 1:05, whichs tells me nothing beside the fact that time is moving and i have no control over it....yea i could set my watch the to current time and give me the mental illusion that that i am the one in control of time but i know i am not. so i leave it

I wanna

scream so loud that deaf people will hear. I'm so fustrated with the state of the country. we live in a country where 13% of us are on unemployment. THIRTEEN FUCKING PERCENT!!! out country has gotten to a point where if things dont turn around within 8 year we could be a second world or even a 3rd world country. Gas is about to hit 4 dollars a gallon by the middle of next month. and there is shit we can do about. yea i can buy a fucking dodge and get gas a t 2.99 a year for 3 years...only problem is dodges aren't worth shit and the ones that do hold some value don't have the gas program. 

Mr. Bush has truly fucked over our country for something he foresaw as great personal gain for him and the country. and it would of been if we could of taken it over and had their oil within a year. We are spending close to 100million dollars a month on this POINTLESS FUCKING WAR!!! 

Hugo Chavez is the only person who can do anything about the price of gas here in the country. But Bush has too much pride to talk to him and buy oil from him in South America. I guess mr. bush would rather steal oil from across the world then buy it from "Dirty boarder hoping mexicans who steal american jobs" NO!!!! They don't steal American jobs. WE SOLD AMERICAN JOBS!! we have fucked ourselves over in the long run of things. There is no more made in America. There are no more production plants within our country for our cars. Toyota, Subaru, and Benz make more cars in our country then we do in ours. The majority of the cars that are Made in America (FORD, GM, CHEVY) are HECHO EN MEXICO.

So now me and the other 13% of the country are fighting for jobs that high school students normally work. With us working those jobs the students have no jobs to make money with. and because so many of us who are overquailfed for these jobs are working them we are unable to find the jobs that we really want, because the places we use to work don't have enought business to make ends met. and when ends dont met in the corp. world the start chopping at the high end and the low end of the pole. If you make too much your gone. if you haven't been there long enough your gone. 

The Babyboomer generation is telling us its easy to find a job. When was they last time they looked. most of them have been at the current job for over 10 years. yea 10 years ago you could get a job...hell 5 years ago you could get a job. i remember i got offers but i wasn't old enough. now i cant find a job that'll make my ends meet.

Alas for once i can truly say that my problems have been created by another source other then myself. for you can't sell something when your customer can't afford it. and your customer can't buy it, you've got no business and its time to start making cuts.

on a last note. To the Gradutating Class of 2008. don't move out, stay at home untill you can move out and you have the money saved away to pay bills 3 months in advance. yea it'd be awesome to be 18 and living away from home but now a days without the support of mom and dad it almost impossible

So Creative

the ideas run thru my mind faster then my eyes can seem them. i an unable to verblize the things i see that my hands can write them. My hands are unable to express the things the mind sees and i return to square one. Running around in a constant search to take the ideas i see and not understand for they are beyond language. but if i can see it enough times i see that it lacks language and therefore cannot be put into any written language. but i am able to repeat and loop these things so that i can draw that out or attempt to give them a language. Language is something that is understood my all, one, some, or none. it all in the intent of how the language was used. the language you've just read was my attempt to capture an image that runs thru my mind looping over and over waiting for me to capture it. and i have. and now it has been filled without ever showing the world what the image was. 

Language is sometimes only understood by ONE.

You as Americans

ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!

our country has been tricking us and doing what they want us to do. We do this thngs becasue the media spins it to make it look as it in our favor. But it is not. The American government is tricking us into doing what they want us to do. since the birth of America is been corrupt. 

WAR=MONEY and the banks have come to learn this. They have learned that if they can find a reason to force the country into war their pockets will grow fat. 

To fund a war you need money. To get needed money you must borrow it from the Federal Reserve. 

Question: If the government owns the federal reverse why are they borrowing money from themselfs.....you can't give yourself 200 bucks when you need. NIETHER CAN THE GOVERNMENT

The Federal Reserve is a PRIVATE banking company that deals directly with the Government. 

when the Government borrows money from the reserve they are charged interest on it.

Lets break that down..... You have Zero dollars....you come to me and say "Hey Yosh i need 3 billion cause...whatever" I say "ok heres your money but i'm charging interest on every dollar you borrow." So...you spend that three billion and now you have to pay it back...what do you do...BORROW MORE MONEY FROM ME!!!!! doing this over and over and over again. What does this mean. THAT YOU NEVER EXIT DEBT!!! even borrowing one dollar from me would screw you over for the rest of your life. 

Now knowing that you need money for wars. and that you liek wars cause it gives you a chance to become the big dog you fight in wars even if not needed


AMERICAN DID NOT NEED TO ENTER WORLD WAR I...but we did

WWI was mainly between Germany and England...two countries that have been fighting on and off since the 1600s....How did we get dragged into WWI easy...we sent a ship with american civilans and ammo into GERMAN CONTROLLED WATERS....after they had told us that if we did they'd blow it up...What do we do....We throw a ship in there in it blows up. How do we react....OMG GERMANY IS ATTACKING US!!!! we enter WWI we borrow money bankers pockets get fat.


AMERICAN BANKS FUNDED BOTH SIDES OFF WWII
Germany had a plane engine during WWII that only worked when an Additive from AMERICAN STANDARD OIL was added. Which is owned by the Rockefeller family. American Standard Oil is still around...We know it as ...Chevron. Union Banking Corporation also funded Germany Nazi....The Union Banking Corp. was Directed by Bush...not our President but his grandfather Preston Scott Bush.

Funny fact about how Bush..errr i mean Hitler started WWII....he bombed one of his own building and blamed it on Commys and said they needed to build an army to fight back. He also passed a law 

ohhyea Standard oil also funded I.G Farben that company that funded Nazi Germany with money to buy weapons and make the chemicals used to poison Jews in the camps.

So how did we get into WWII...Pearl Harbor...the surprise attack on us...WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!WRONG!!! We provoked Japan to attack us...how
1) We stopped trading oil will them
2) we froze all american assets they had
3) we began trade with China and U.K breaking War Rules

and it was NOT a surprise. Our friends from down under in Australia told us they where coming 3 days ahead of time.

BAM!!! We're in a war again......







This is all alot to take it i know so i'm done and i'll leave you with this quote

"AN EVIL EXISTS THAT THREATENS EVERY MAN, WOMAN 
AND CHILD OF THIS GREAT NATION. WE MUST TAKE
STEPS TO ENSURE OUR DOMESTIC SECURITY
AND PROTECT OUR HOMELAND"
-GEORGE W. BUSH
-ADOLF HITLER

I Don't Understand How

I dont understand how

how people can sit at home all day and not do anything. Sitting around with nothing what so ever to fill their day besides sitting on the couch watching tv, surfing myspace hunting for comments and new friends. it drives me in fucking sane knowing i awoken in a new day with nothing what so ever for me to so. i look forward to school. its the only event i have thats like hey you have yo be here at this time. friday-monday is on a play it by ear thing. which i can't stand. i need something to do something to fill my time....after 14 year of waking up and having someplace to be almost everyday of the week not having something to do is making me go insane. and its not like i just sit at home not trying to find things to do....i hunt on craigslist for jobs, i search for photo jobs on model mayhem, i write out business plans and forms, i gather concepts for photo-shoots and screenplays....i could see myself being that rich guy who wakes up and does something everyday besides go out and party. the job hunt is going so fucking horrible. I've been hearing two things "You're over qualified for entry level work, and we can't give you a management position because you don't have a college degree" or " We're not gonna pay you that much".....all i want is a FUCKING JOB...i feel like i'm in the same boat i was when i was trying to get my first job "We cant hire you cause you dont have experience." as selfish and redirectional as this may seem...I FUCKING BLAME BUSH AND WALMART!!!! 

Why i blame bush- he's ruined out countrys economy and made it almost impossible to get a real job that doesn't involve saying "do you want fries with that" 

Why i blame walmart- they began the trend of outsourcing jobs to Good ol China

man i need a hug...and 100 bucks

The Sad Realization

I have come to the sad realization that no matter what happens after the election it'll be years before our money is worth anything what so ever if it ever becomes worth anything again. America owes China some 3 trillion dollars and at any moment is China wanted they doesn't drop the stocks and bonds given to them by George B. onto the Chinese Stock Market making them worthless in an instant. We shall never recover from what has been done to our country...i blame Sam Walton...many of you are wondering who that is. Sam Walton is the founder of the evil company ever...WAL-MART!!!

Wal-Mart was the first major company to out source it's products production into foreign countries such as CHINA! Walmart saw that making products in China ment lest cost of productions and more overhead profits. Soon Walmart told the brands that had products on it shelves "We don't wanna pay that much for you product when we can get it cheaper" this caused many a company to move its production over to china to follow suit keeps it products in the comsumers faces and their pockets fat. It a good short term idea...

so here we are many years later. the majority of all comsumer products are made in China or Taiwan now. which is means its made for cheap. But the problem with that is...COUNTRIES MAKE MONEY OFF IMPORT/EXPORT.... you get paid to export your goods to other countries for sale. 

PROBLEM= America doesn't Export anything. If you can find a product that cost for then 20 bucks and says made in america i'll give you my computer. 

So your thinking wait we do export stuff...we have car companies like Ford, Chevy and GMC. Yes these companies are "American". Yes they have factories in America. But the majority of the cars are made in Mexico. And we can't export American cars to many places. All of Asia has way higher smog standards then America does. but not Korea..from what i hear. 

long story short. 

how are we as a country going to make any money if we have no real exports. Within a 10 years i say millionaires will be part of the middle class in america if nothing is done to fix this issue.